ChickSpeak

When I was a sophomore in college, I had convinced myself that I was madly and forever would be in love with a senior pre-med major. We ended the semester vowing that we would make the drive between our parents homes every weekend that summer, and do whatever it took to make our relationship work.

I remember being so confident in us that I thought nothing of hopping my car on a Friday afternoon to drive the 5+ hours to see him. I was so infatuated that on one of my trips up, I had failed to recognize that it was 4th of July weekend. The backed up traffic, sweltering heat and a minor car accident by the Delaware toll booth could not deter me. I had visions of a romantic dinner together, maybe he had thought to get me flowers… A girl can dream, right?

After making the trek, and arriving at his parents house, I found out that he had made other plans and left since I was running so late. I spent the first evening at his house with his mom, waiting for him to come home. Things got worse from there. Clearly we were not on the same page. Hmm… talk about love being blind.

It was that summer that I realized some valuable lessons on long distance relationships. Take them for what they are worth, as just my brain drain.

#1. No matter how much you think you are in love, the other person has to meet you half way and with a willing heart. If it’s not mutual, it’s gonna be rough.

#2. If you and yours are going to work at a long distance relationship, create mutual and realistic parameters. Will you talk each day? See each other once a summer or once a week? Write snail mail? Use the time apart to develop your ability to clearly communicate with each other. It will come back to you both ten-fold when you are together in person again.

#3. Distance forces you to look deeper into yourself. You can’t just have him come over and cuddle up on the couch anymore, so you’ve got to take the physical out of why you are together and figure out what else makes you tick as a couple. Without the nearness of him, it’s also a good time to get even more clear in what you want and need in general.

#4. Know when to call it quits. Even the most fun and loving relationships can break under the pressure of distance. If you feel like you’re doing more to keep things afloat and talking doesn’t help, you might want to use the distance as a way to start to let each other go. Just trust that you know what’s best and will be happy as long as you are true to yourself!

Can you go the distance?