ChickSpeak

Good friends are hard to come by and can be our biggest supporters, partners in crime and life lines when life’s ups and downs strike.

But what do you do if you feel like the friendship has grown apart or run its course and just isn’t the same? What if she’s done something so hard for you to deal with that you just can’t seem to relate to her in the same ways? What about a betrayal?

Breaking up with a friend is a topic that can often be trivialized or overlooked, but sometimes it can be just as tough (or worse than) ending it with a romantic partner. The Today Show coined a new phrase for this topic on air today, “Frumping.” It’s a blurring of the words ‘friends’ and ‘dumping,’ and is a reflection of how sometimes we really do need to end friendships that have faded or become unhealthy and move on.

According to relationship experts, honesty is the best policy. If you feel that it’s time to end the friendship, talk to the person and be honest about what’s been going on. Please don’t confuse honesty with brutality, though. Burning bridges is never ideal, so treat the friend as gently as possible while still getting your key points across.

 When any relationship is more negative than positive or you find yourself trying to avoid the friend, it may be time to “frump” the friend.  Sounds harsh, especially because you may have known her forever, have been in her wedding or sworn be bff’s until the cows come home… but just as romantic relationships go through changes and challenges, so do your friendships.

Best first question to ask yourself in all of this is what kind of friendship is this?

If it’s casual, as in you see each other out or perhaps grab coffee every once in a while, just back off and let it go. Allow the friendship to take its course and fade.

However, if it’s a long term friend or someone that you connected to at deeper levels,  try to fix it. The history and memories are not easily replaceable, and odds are that you might have played a part in any strain on the friendship, as well. It goes both ways sometimes.  Talk about it with your friend and be honest. Look for ways to gently let her know what’s been wrong or off with you guys. look for ways that you might have failed her and apologize. Take the lead in addressing and repairing the friendship, if at all possible.

Best case scenario, it was a big miscommunication or correctable mistake. If all else fails, trust your gut and be okay with telling the friend that the relationship has run its course. In the end, it could be better for you and for the “frumped” friend.