ChickSpeak

Jealousy issues, excessive text messaging and calling, controlling what you wear or who you hang out with…

When dating turns to out-of-line behavior, it’s easy to ignore the red flags and assume that he’s just really into you or totally has your best interests at heart.

So often we think of dating violence and abuse as:

A.) Something that could never happen to us or

B.)Something that involves major physical violence, aka: OJ Simpson style.

The problem is that dating violence and abusive relationships can begin much more subtly than full-out battery and most often progresses in slow and small ways, building up to more troubling problems. According to the National Center for Victims of Crime, 32% of women in college say they have experienced dating violence by a previous partner and 21% say that they are currently in an abusive relationship.

Women may overlook signs of inappropriate comments and actions of their partners, assuming that signs of control and power-plays aren’t a big deal or that- in worst cases- they brought the behavior on themselves. This problem is compounded by reports through the teen dating abuse hot-line, Love is Respect, by comments like this one,

“As a peer advocate at loveisrespect, the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline, I’ve talked to a lot of teens who tell me they don’t feel comfortable talking to their parents or even sometimes their own friends. Sometimes their friends are frustrated and want them to just break up with their boyfriend or girlfriend. I think it can be easier to talk to one of us, at least at first, because we have information about dating abuse and we aren’t going to judge them or try to tell them what to do.”  -Cassie, age 19

If you think you may be in an abusive relationship, take this need-to-know-now quiz.

If you or a friend are in an abusive relationship, here are some trusted resources that can help you:

The Love is Not Abuse Woman’s Handbook and National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline | 1-866-331-9474 | 1-866-331-8453 TTY