ChickSpeak

I woke up this morning in a comfortable, reasonably sized bed in a room I’m told I can call my own. I ate breakfast in a beautiful kitchen with black granite countertops, mahogany cabinetry and a refrigerator camouflaged into the wall with the color of the wood.

Yet, it didn’t feel right. I hadn’t paid for any of those things. They weren’t mine. They were things I was borrowing, things lent to me by a man who could afford them: my dad.

We know we have our whole life to work, yet we still need and want to. We long for the day we can call something our own, the day we can wake up in a place we’re paying for.

Despite rust, cabinet stains and chipped tile, we’re paying for it and we’re making it- on own our. Though we can’t even afford a YMCA membership, pinch pennies at the grocery store and hesitantly join friends for a pricy Friday night movie, we’re taking care of ourselves.

Isn’t that what every college student wants after walking across that big stage and receiving that simple piece of paper that claims we’re somehow “qualified” for the real world?

Especially in this day and age, many of us face a difficult reality after four wonderful years of independence, a state I like to call joblessness. We might have done all the right things- kept the grades, got involved, paid our dues- but it seems we have nothing to show for it but some measly pictures in an oversized drape and funny-looking hat. We’re smart, well-rounded, and socially engaging, yet it seems no one is willing to give us a shot. 

For those of us who are lucky enough to have helpful parents or ones that can at least still afford us after 22 or so years, we return to the family life. I’m one of them. Still, I took a nine hour haul home, forced to plant myself in a little Ohio town very unlike what I had grown accustomed to.

And despite my utter lack of excitement, there’s hope beyond the horizon for me and for anyone in a career slump.

I’ve learned there’s some key measures we must take, crucial for living comfortably with your parental figures or relatives temporarily. The situation calls for a complete lifestyle makeover, one that probably won’t live up to your post-college expectations. Little things, seemingly trivial to the family, will get on your nerves.

How about the way you never seem to be “in” on the plans and everyone proceeds with their schedule without including you? Or the way one meal, the one you’ve been assigned to clean up, can trash a whole kitchen? Or the way your older sibling or siblings seems to have it all worked out: the husband, the house, the pet, the well-paid position? Do any of these sound at all familiar? Practice patience, now. Your time will come.

Here are some tips on how to alleviate the stress:

Remember You

Take time for yourself, even without your friends. The key is to remain independent. Don’t lock yourself in your room like a hermit, but set aside time to conduct your job search, read a book, take a nap, do something out on the town or go to the gym.

You’ve just spent four years of your life living without your family, maybe even hours and hours away, and now you see them everyday. Regardless of your tendency towards extroversion or introversion, you’ve grown accustomed to much more time alone. And when you finally obtain true “independence,” you might not have the luxury of familiar faces.

Pitch In

Another element of home life, though it might be difficult, is to gracefully help out when needed or asked. Some college students might return home to a highly separated household where everyone’s on their own time schedule, but some of us must integrate into everyday family life.

That means doing dishes, cleaning house, helping the parents cart the siblings around or being home for dinner. C’mon, people. Free food?

You’d have to be crazy not to work your schedule around that type of offer. If you parents are generous enough to let you live at home, you should be generous long enough to show some gratitude.

Keep Busy

I’ve realized, after many trips home, that when you sleep in till 10 a.m., sit around and watch television and mindlessly search the Internet for job openings whenever you “get around to it” during that day, the mind is never productive.

Stay active. The quicker you motivate yourself, the quicker you’ll obtain your goal. Maybe give yourself a few days to regroup, but don’t dilly-dally for weeks on end staring at the wall.

Get into a regular schedule, a daily rhythm that will guide you through each weekday while you’re jobless, just as if you were taking classes again.

Make a list of a few things you need to complete on a daily basis, and decide on the order and time at which you’ll do them. Go to bed at a reasonable hour, preparing for that impending eight to five. You’ll find your attention span improving, and frustration levels will be lower with yourself and with your family.

Another helpful distraction, a form of “jobless therapy,” you might say, is getting involved in your community or town if you haven’t already. Develop your passions and feel productive in the process.  You might even discover a different calling; the wait will be over.

Save Up

And sadly, money doesn’t grow on trees these days. The meager “loot” you might have acquired from graduation quickly dwindles, so consider part-time work to earn some back or keep yourself occupied. Believe me, the idea of going back to retail after college was no walk in the park in my mind, but consider some type of experience that may bolster your degree in the meantime while the job market’s still in the toilet.

Use the part-time to your advantage; think outside the box, and don’t be afraid to ask employers questions or offer your skills even if the hiring sign isn’t up in the window. You never know who might be willing to take you in as an intern, even in these hard times.

It’s persistence and a sincere interest that’ll put you in that next job. And that’s not easy for an unemployed person like me to say, either. So as I listen to my own advice…

Give yourself a purpose- a reason to wake up in the morning and start your day with an open heart and mind, a reason to put on that light makeup, rock your wardrobe and look your very best. If you haven’t already, don’t wait another day. Time is of the essence, and everyone has a calling in life. Even if you haven’t found it- it’s out there somewhere, waiting patiently for you.

Kristin Larmore, a recent journalism graduate of Appalachian State University, loves playing old classics on the piano, is an avid rollercoaster fan and wants to learn how to make a mean pastry.

Photo by Sara Rosenblum. Sara will enter her junior year at Columbia College in Chicago in the fall where she is studying art and photography. She has been passionate about photography since a young age and won a Gold Key for her photography portfolio in high school. In her spare time Sara enjoys playing soccer, exploring new places, and cooking. Sara can be reached at sarajill@gmail.com.