ChickSpeak

Since women have been allowed in the workforce, we have adopted the attitude that men are pigs and we owe it to ourselves to be strong, ambitious, independent women. We have seen women take the highest positions at some of the largest corporations and organizations, and as a gender we have set record after record for our achievements. 

Feminism has grown and has been applauded by women everywhere, but when it comes to love and the act of dating is it possible that feminism has had an adverse effect on the age old game?

We are women, hear us roar! We want a career, our own home and car, and a life that can not only function but thrive without the help of a man.  At the same time most of us still want to fall in love, get married and have a family. The question is where is the balance, and have we intimidated the male gender so much we have killed the chivalrous acts of dating?

Last week one of my coworkers approached me wanting my opinion on a dating situation that she had. This guy had been asking her out for a good month and she had finally agreed to go to dinner. In making their plans he suggested she pay for the movie and he would pay for dinner. Not having mentioned a movie, and considering the fact that HE was the one who had asked HER out, she was a little put off. When he sensed her irritation he continued saying he was giving her the cheaper part and had thought she would appreciate it. 

Now some background on the situation, my coworker has a full time job, owns her own home, and is perfectly capable of paying for her own movie and dinner and even his if needed, and they were in fact friends at this point not necessarily romantic interests…at this point. So was his attitude and assumption appropriate?

I think that this is the perfect example of how the lines have been blurred to a point that no one knows what the appropriate action should be. We want everyone to know that we can take care of ourselves, but we also want to be taken care of. And isn’t part of the asking someone out on a date lost when it becomes a mutual contribution on both parts? Even if I am asking my girlfriends over for dinner I don’t expect them to show up with food or money in hand.

How can we expect men to take charge and ask us out if we continue to make it so clear that we don’t need them and that we are perfectly capable of doing the asking ourselves? We have not only confused them but have also confused ourselves about the “new rules” of dating.

Lauren Jamison is an Assistant Product Manager at Belk department store’s corporate headquarters in Charlotte, N.C. She’s grateful her fiancé was able to look past her independent career minded personality. She loves being taken out to nice dinners, swooning over new home décor, and wearing big floppy hats and giant sunglasses.