ChickSpeak

“I hope we can still be friends” is something always said at the end of a relationship. I would like to think that after being serious and intimate with this person for months and months, we would have the maturity and respect for each other to be friends.While there are certain scenarios where a friendship with an ex-boyfriend is possible, it can be difficult. If you want to keep this guy in your life, even after a break-up, there are a few things to keep in mind.

So you and the boyfriend just broke up. How long should you wait to talk again? There is no magic time, but keeping some distance for a little while is a good idea. While it is harder to keep your distance when the two of you share friends, it is best to stray for a little while.

I have tried being friends with an ex-boyfriend way too quickly, and all it did was make him upset because it was too hard for him, and in turn, I got really frustrated with him, and then realized it was too hard for me too.

So instead of forcing a friendship too quickly, let time do its job by healing the post-break-up wounds naturally. If you and your ex-boyfriend are meant to be friends, you will be eventually.

Unfortunately, not everyone is meant to be friends with an ex-boyfriend. Sometimes there are those guys who were a big part of your life for so long that it is impossible for the two of you to let go of the old romantic feelings. It is okay to just accept that it is simply too hard to be friends with a guy who held your heart in his hands for so long.

While great loves are great, there are the guys who you dated for a few months and then realized you were better off as friends. Those are the ones who it is the easiest to be friends with because there was not a strong romantic connection to begin with.

Somewhere in between the great love and the great friend is the guy who you loved but the timing was off. Maybe you and this guy decided to break-up due to distance or something else out of either of your control. It is more likely that you and this ex-boyfriend will be friends because you did not have a Greek tragedy style ending.

However, because you did not end due to hatred for each other, or something else fundamental to your personalities, it can be hard to remember why you broke up. It could feel like you and your ex-boyfriend are still dating because nothing has changed except for your status on Facebook.

Talking to your ex-boyfriend constantly can be torturous for both of you because it can make you think you should be back together, causing you to forget why you broke up to begin with. But after sufficient time has passed, allowing the wounds to heal, a friendship could be formed.

Essentially, do not force a friendship. If it is meant to happen, it will in some way. If you and your ex-boyfriend do not work out as friends, then all you have to do is remember him as your boyfriend, complete with all the great memories. The “I hope we can still be friends” you once muttered is now just a hope.

Julianne Olson is a freshman journalism major at Appalachian State University and an intern news reporter for The Appalachian newspaper. She hopes to one day write for a national magazine based in New York City, where she can further her love for writing and lots of people.

Photo from http://www.lunasmith.com/images/upset_couple3_ukmq.jpg