ChickSpeak

Dr. Gregory House, House, M.D.

Why we love him on TV: House is the quintessential loveable jerk. He interferes in the lives of his colleagues, he talks down to patients, and he thwarts authority (and common sense) at any chance he gets, yet displays enough palpable vulnerability that we can’t help but sympathize with him. Need we mention that he also tends to save the day?

Why we would hate him in real life: There’s a big difference between watching House’s shenanigans onscreen for an 45 minutes a week, and having to deal with someone like him for 45 hours a week in real life. Can you imagine having House as your boss? Because we’d rather not, although if we were dying of the Bubonic Plague, his constant attention and incessant barking wouldn’t go unwelcomed.  

Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother

Why we love him on TV: At this risk of turning this paragraph into the next great American novel, our reasons for loving Barney are almost boundless as his list of conquests: 1) he coined “LEGENDARY” 2) He created a website dedicated to his best friend, which called “Ted Mosby Is A Jerk” 3) His outlandish methods of picking up women actually work, thanks to his charming delivery 4) he’s played by the very witty Neil Patrick Harris 5) he looks good in a suit 6) he’s disarmingly convincing, whether he’s sexing up the females of New York City, or being in love with Robin, his “female bro.”

Why we would hate him in real life: Let’s just be real here: he’d pick us up in a bar using while dressed as a scuba diver or an astronaut, and then he’d never call us again. Regrettably enough, there are plenty of guys in real life just like Barney, minus the awesomeness, and we’d probably regret being involved with them more if they were only half as awesome.  

Stewie Griffin, Family Guy

Why we love him on TV: The kid’s a hoot. He’s an evil baby with delusions of grandeur and an inexplicably British accent. We all cheered him on when he finally came out of the closet last year, which added yet another dimension to his hilarious self-involvement.

Why we would hate him in real life:. He attempted to kill his mom, and during episode 8 of season 8, he admitted to killing five other babies. Yeah, how about no.  

Derek “McDreamy” Shepherd, Grey’s Anatomy

Why we love him on TV: Need we really explain the appeal of someone christened “McDreamy?” Derek’s handsome and charming, a natural leader, and just wounded enough so that you triggers a woman’s nurturing instincts.

Why we would hate in him real life: During the earlier seasons, Derek’s a little wishy-washy. Meredith or Addison? Meredith or Rose? Make a decision, man! After five seasons of trying to figure themselves out, Derek and Meredith’s waffling relationship became frustrating and fickle instead of tense and exciting. We wouldn’t put up with a guy who couldn’t get his act together without hurting his wife and various girlfriends.  

Puck, Glee

Why we love him on TV: While Finn’s supposed to be the show’s hero, anyone woman ever tuned into Glee would testify that her eyes were fully affixed on Puck. He’s funny, he’s suave, and he can belt out a note, or five. Best of all, far from being an otherwise typical jock, he’s genuinely ambitious and can cook up creative ways to get what he wants.

Why we would hate him in real life: Let’s face it, he’d probably throw a slushy in our faces while we checked him out in the hallway.  

Denise Ngo graduated from Fordham University in 2009. When she’s not asking  herself, Avenue Q-style, what one actually does with a B.A. in English, she’s surfing Amazon for bargain books or hunting down the novelty food trucks in New York City.