ChickSpeak

There are never enough hours in the day, and yet we count down the minutes until we can finally get some rest. We wish we could save more money, but splurge when we pass a fashionably-decorated sale window. We work every single day to get off that stubborn five pounds, but when asked if we want to sample the double-fudge-triple-creamy-five-layer cake, we can’t help but nod politely. We desire the freedom to march to the beat of our drum, but want to make sure if we happen to stumble, there are those we love to break our fall.

In a world full of internal contradictions that always seem to leak into the external world (even when we try to conceal them), how’s a Chick supposed to live the life she dreams of?

At this age, every day presents a new set of decisions, to-do lists, e-mails to respond to, plans to make, and people to consider. While we can’t always have our Manolo Blahniks and drink our Cosmo too -we do happen to have one of the strongest and most powerful tools of advice and love at our fingertips (regardless if they are manicured or not).

Our circle of best girlfriends.

While this network will range from chick-to-chick, the purpose and importance of other women in a lady’s life is always essential for happiness.

Women play a tremendous role in helping their counterparts to release stress, make important choices, and even determine those decisions that seem so significant, but turn out to just be a second in our lives. We support each other and understand the language of females -a language that at times, can be senseless, rather ridiculous and completely obsessive.

And in our quest to find, define and redesign ourselves throughout our lives - we sometimes forget to call out to our gals and ask about their days.

It’s not that we intentionally send text messages asking for advice on a subject you’ve discussed a million times (and received the same response, no doubt), or tend to call our best friends when we’re in trouble, more often then to just check-up -it’s just that’s when we think we need our girlfriends the most.

When a boyfriend breaks up with us, a job interview completely puts us in our place (on the bottom of the career totem pole) or we see a reflection in the mirror we don’t exactly agree with -who better to call than one of your favorite gals? They are always there to listen, they know exactly what to say, they will be blunt when needed and compulsively understanding. They won’t judge us, and if they do, they will always apologize later. They’ll let you lean your head on their shoulder, or stay on the phone with you as you sob unrecognizable sentences.

But, next time you start to board the complaining-train or the pity-me and humor-me boat, step back, and put your best friend first.

I’ll be the first to admit I can be quite the walking disaster sometimes. I think just as much and as diligently as I speak, and more times than not, I obsess instead of relaxing and listening. My best friends, God bless them, try their best to rationally and sweetly handle my spontaneous and frequent emotional combustions, but just like true soul sisters who know you better than you know yourself - they also know when to cut me off, and tell me “enough is enough.”

Somehow, in the mayhem that has seemed to consume my life recently, I’ve discovered how important and essential my friends are to my happiness and well-being. I’ve always desired a love that’s deep, all-enduring, unconditional, strong, honest and full of laughter, secret languages and beauty. And, I’ve worked at finding a glowing confidence and a security in myself through a career, appearance and of course, through words.

But in my search for this one-of-a-kind love and self-esteem, I’ve forgotten that this is just the kind of love and confidence I share with my best friends. Sure, it’s not romantically inclined, but the intensity is still as strong and everlasting.

Instead of focusing so much what you consider contradictory or negative in your life: what you want, what you worry about, what you ate today, who you talked to, how you looked or what went wrong -make a pact with yourself to start asking more questions about your girlfriends’ days, and less focus on your personal issues.

Doing so will not only strengthen your friendships and bring you closer to the ladies who will always stand by your side, but also teach you to not fret so much about day-to-day problems. Additionally, it will give your friends’ inboxes, Facebook accounts, and ears a rest.

Don’t forget to thank them for their incredible friendship and patience. And if you happen to be on the receiving end of an obsessive friend, make sure to snap your girlfriend into her place and make her realize what’s most important.

It’s not really where you are, where you hope to be or where you were that’s the most important in life, but the girls who helped you become the you, you are today; and who will always be heel-to-heel and laugh-to-laugh with you no matter where tomorrow takes you.

Lindsay A. Tigar is the Editor-at-Large for ChickSpeak, has interned for Cosmopolitan and contributes to Engagement 101 magazine and The Beauty Bean. She has the most beautiful, compassionate and sassy group of friends and needs to remind them how fabulous they are more often.

Photo from here.