ChickSpeak

There are certain things that men assume women know little to nothing about: how to pee standing up, how to belch, pit bulls, and football. To be honest, these assumptions are not fair to women and they deserve to be given a decent chance of holding a conversation about football.

With these easy tips you will not only be able to impress men with your knowledge of the sport, but even carry an intelligent conversation that does not include the term ”homerun.”

Know Your Team

Even if at this moment you cannot name a single team in the NFL (National Football League) this is a simple task to accomplish. Once you have established “your team,” get to know a couple of the players and their positions, which will be our next lesson. If your team is the New York Giants, be able to mention quarterback Eli Manning, Coach Tom Coughlin, and running back Brandon Jacobs, just to name a few.

Men will be impressed when you can list a few players from the roster to back up your claim of being a diehard fan.

Know the positions….at least a few

Offense/when your team has the ball:

Quarterback - He calls the plays, thus controlling the game for his team. He can either throw the ball to the wide receivers and tight ends (go ahead, giggle), hand it off to the running back, or run it himself.

Running back - Lines up near the quarterback and once he is handed the ball his job is to run as far as he can towards his end zone, which are at either end of the field where a touchdown is scored.

Wide receivers/tight ends - Catches the ball when the quarterback throws to him.

Linebackers - These are the much larger men you see lined up whose responsibility is to protect and block the opponents from getting to the man with the ball.

When your team is on defense they do not have possession of the ball and are simply trying to prevent the opponents from scoring.

Know how a team can score

You don’t ever want to be that girl screaming “Strike” or “Grand Slam” during a football game. Know these three ways to gain points:

Touchdown - Someone must enter the end zone while holding the ball. This is worth six points and then the kicker kicks the extra point, which is worth one.

Field goal - A team can attempt to kick the ball thru the goal posts, which are located at either end of the field behind the end zones. This is worth three points.

Safety - This one is a bit trickier. If the member of the offensive team holding the ball is tackled in his own end zone, then the opposing team receives two points.

Know some basic terms

Flag - When a player commits something illegal, the referee throws a flag down on the field to indicate that a penalty has occurred. This generally results in that team losing yards and having to move backwards away from their end zone. Some common penalties include holding, tripping and pass interference, which are self explanatory.

Fumble - This is when the player with the ball unexpectedly drops it. This occurrence sometimes causes a turnover, which means the opposing team has recovered.

Interception - This is when the quarterback throws the ball intended for one of his receivers, but a defensive player catches it instead. This is also a turnover.

First down - This is often the trickiest concept for new football fans to grasp, but is vital for understanding the game. When the offensive team starts with the ball, they have four attempts to either gain ten yards or score some points. They begin with first and ten, which means they are on their first try and have ten yard to go. If the quarterback hands the ball off to the running back and he runs for two yards, they are now at second down and eight (second attempt with eight yards to go).

Once the team gets to fourth down, they must decide if they are going to use their last attempt to get a first down or score points. This could be going for a touchdown or kicking a field goal. However, if they are unsuccessful, their opponents take possession of the ball. If they do not want to chance fourth down they can punt the ball away to the opposing team.

Well, ladies, now that you have a basic, yet detailed understanding of one of America’s favorite pastimes it is time to put your understanding to the test. Dare to bring up football when with your man and impress him with your knowledge. I even challenge you to split a pitcher of beer and plate of wings while discussing your newfound love for football.

After all, a chick who can talk sports is a major turn on for guys.

Finally, perhaps the most important lesson in “Football 101 for Girls” is if you are not willing to learn and watch the game, don’t expect to see your guy on Sundays, Monday nights and even some Thursdays.

Shawn Triggs is a Fordham University alum with a Bachelor’s degree in Communication and Media Studies, concentrating in journalism. He enjoys watching football while eating buffalo wings and hopes to one day see the Kansas City Chiefs make it to the Super Bowl.