ChickSpeak

First it was my best friend. Along with her bedding, towels, and notebooks, she brought a boyfriend with her to college. Despite the long distance, they decided to give a whirl.

Then I met another girl at school who also had a boy back home. They, too, were long distance but they worked it out.

I had three single girls in my close group of friends left to mingle with. One was perfectly content being single, the other was about to give up hope, and the last tried to put herself in my shoes when it came to not being able to find good men but it didn’t work. Unlike me, she’d had a couple of serious boyfriends in the past.

The hopeless one told me that she’d gone home over Christmas break and literally cried to her mom because she thought something was wrong with her. Why weren’t any men even slightly interested? When she got back, she found a guy and they’re now happily dating. Lucky girl.

The content one found herself hanging out with a guy who used to like her but she didn’t feel the same way. Months later, he had a girlfriend but the more they hung out, the more she realized she actually did have feelings for him. He broke up with his girlfriend and now they’re together.

I was down to one single girl - the one who knew what it was like to be in a relationship but still said she was just like me. Summer break came, though, and she’s got herself a little fling.

Me? Not so much. I’ve got no boyfriend, no fling, no nothing. So can you possibly imagine my pain when I hear them all talking about their beaus or look at pictures of them together wondering, what’s this thing they call love?

You can if you’re a single chick like me and are surrounded by attached friends. The boyfriend talk is fine at first but when that’s all that consumes your conversations, you start to wonder how you can escape it.

I can’t lie, I like that I can be there when they’re having problems and the juicy gossip is too great to pass up. But while I’m sitting here, praying that the right guy will come along some way, somehow, I don’t want to hear about how in love you are or how great it is to have a boyfriend.

When this kind of thing happens, you need to know how to take charge. Here’s the single chick’s guide to surviving in a circle of taken friends.

Talk About Date Night

It’s likely that talk about the weekend is going to come up in conversation. When your friends start discussing their dates and how their guys spoiled them, you can listen for a little but if the conversation continues and you’re sick of hearing it, start talking about something you did for yourself this weekend. Those chicks who are in relationships often forget the luxuries of being single so make them envious for once and dish about how you went to a local bar and four guys asked for your number. Even if it’s a little lie, it’ll show them that you don’t need a boyfriend to get the attention you deserve.

Jealousy

When your friends start complaining about the fact that their guy went out with group of friends and was talking to other girls, you first need to get the whole story. If she’s mad simply because other girls were there and you know she doesn’t have a right to be mad at him, you need to make that clear but don’t do it harshly. Tell her that you were out the other night talking to a guy who couldn’t stop gushing about his girlfriend. She needs to know that just because other chicks are present doesn’t mean he’s interested. The sooner you make this known, the less you’ll need to have the jealousy talk down the road. Trust me, it’s a large annoyance off your shoulders.

PDA

When the boyfriends are around, it’s hard to ignore their kissing, hugging, and hand-holding. You can’t exactly get away from it either - especially when they’re your good friends. I can’t tell you how many times I cringed in annoyance and jealousy when my roommate and her boyfriend were knowingly kissing and laughing in the bed below me. Before she brings him around, ask her to keep her hands to herself at least a little bit until you can get away and give them some time alone. You can’t tell her to not touch him at all though; she has every right to (find out what’s acceptable here). But if it’s really too much, go to the gym for a bit, run errands, and get some homework done in the library. Find things to occupy yourself so you’ll have less face time with the two of them.

Complaints

Your friend is most likely going to vent about how much work it is to have a boyfriend. She’ll say, “Never get a boyfriend, they’re so stressful.” I roll my eyes when I hear this comment. After all, they’ve chosen to have a boyfriend and they don’t need to be with him if it’s really that stressful. Remind her of this the next time she complains.

Reassurance

It’s possible that your taken chicks will start treating you like a charity case. They’ll continuously tell you that if it happened to them, it’ll happen to you. That’s not what you want - you don’t need to be reminded about how single you are. Show them all of the great things you’ve done as a single chick and why it’s worked for you. If you are looking for someone and they know you are, you can’t blame them for their concern. But be honest and tell them if it bothers you. They really can’t relate in their situation so you’re better off discussing it with someone single.

Unfortunately, you can’t turn your best friends away when they’re truly happy or seriously upset. You need to be a good friend and be there for her no matter how much it may pain you to do so.

If it’s really too much for you to handle, you should try finding some single chicks to go out with while you cool off. Sometimes, you just need to get away from the relationship scene when you want so desperately to be a part of it. It may not make sense but think about it - you’ll be unhappy and taken girls means taken men. That makes it harder for you to pick someone up.

And don’t forget, chicks: it’s perfectly okay to go out alone. You don’t always need wing women. Whether you’re grabbing dinner, a drink, or going shopping, it can be quite empowering.

Keep your chin up, too. If your friends can do it, so can you. Besides, you’re better than them anyways…but I won’t tell.

Chelsea Tirrell is an upcoming sophomore at Hofstra University. She loves her best friends more than anything but sometimes, she can’t help but be envious and slightly irritated with their relationships. At the end of the day, though, she’s happy just knowing they’re happy.